Something Old, Something New Review

I've been waiting over a month and a half for this two parter. My anticipation couldn't have been higher. In the back of my mind, I knew that the episode couldn't meet my expectations so I prepared myself for some disappointment. The reality was so much more than I had prepared for. Think of it like hoping to get a pair of designer boots for your birthday, being mature enough to realize your family can't afford a designer label so you prepare yourself for a pair of 25 dollar boots from Kohls (which isn't bad at all), and in the end getting a pair of cheap flips flops from the dollar store.

I won't lie; I'm a total Connie/Mitch shipper. I adore them together. I'm still working my way through the Novacom saga (Loving it, by the way) and their relationship is enjoyable to listen to. But, I definitely wasn't expecting them to get back together in "Something Old, Something New". It's unrealistic. Anybody who tries to tell you otherwise is deluding themselves. Connie and Mitch had an insane relationship and it wasn't the best grounds for marriage. (I can almost hear people saying "What do you know about marriage? Are you even out of high school yet?") Getting back to my point, I'm not mad about the episode because it didn't end with Mitch and Connie running off towards the courthouse to elope. I'm mad because there was no closure. The entire hour could have been saved and replaced by this:

    Connie: You'd think after 20 years of being on the air, I'd know what I'd want to do with my life. Because, let's face it, I'm still doing what I used to do when I was 16 years old. The only difference is I can buy alcohol now. That helps...
    Penny: *insert vaguely helpful advice*
    Wooten: *insert totally random quote, preferably about tofu*
    Emily: Yo slave!
    Matthew: Are you talking to me?
    Emily:  Let's go solve a mystery! There's nothing else to do around here...
    Matthew: How about we do something productive? I'm tired of being the annoying subplot.
    Emily: Not listening!
    Penny: Connie, I have something to tell you. Don't be mad.
    Connie: Ugh! Penny! What did you do? *mutters* Hey, at least I'm not the screw-up anymore.
    Penny: The whole town thinks you're marrying Wooten. Because that just makes so much sense!
    Wooten: *insert random quote, preferably about food and/or tofu*
    Mitch: Hey, Connie. Heard you and Wooten are getting hitched. Makes perfect sense.
    Connie: Mitch! What are you doing back in town? And no. Wooten and I are not getting married. Not even a couple.
    Mitch: Then this is awkward. I was going to tell you that I'm getting married.
    Connie: Is she hotter than me?
    Mitch: What?
    Connie: I didn't say anything.
    Emily: (bursts in the door) Your girlfriend is a thief!
    Mitch: No she isn't. She works for the FBI like I do. Trust me, I wouldn't fall for a crook like Jason did. Heh. What a retard.
    Connie: Well, this has been fun. I gotta go get back to work. Eh. I'm not even gonna say goodbye to you.


The episode was successful in capturing the awkwardness of running into an ex. But I'm of the opinion that Connie and Mitch deserved more than a half hour of awkwardness, They needed closure, a proper goodbye, or at least a brief mention of how important they were in each other's lives.

Maybe that kind of maturity would have gone right over the heads of the younger listeners, but it seemed like the older episodes weren't too concerned about that. The older episodes dealt with mature issues in a way that kids could understand. (It also could be enjoyed by older listeners because the issues weren't explained in ridiculous ways)

Pretty much the episode could have gone without these characters:
     •Penny
     •Wooten (maybe he could have appeared briefly because he knows Mitch)
     •Matthew
     •Emily
     •Jauques Henri
     •Mitch's fiance Maureen. (Its not like I had a problem with her. I just thought that her lines were pointless)

On a positive note, I did like what Whit said at the end about longing for the past. If we focus on the past, it'll keep us from living our current life to God's glory. Good job, Whit. Those two sentences were the only salvageable things I could find in this train wreck of an episode. (Besides when Maureen flipped Eugene. That was hilarious. Totally unnecessary to the episode but it made me laugh)

An episode like this must have been a challenge to the writers. They wanted to let the listeners know that Connie and Mitch didn't have a possibility of getting back together but wouldn't be soul crushingly depressing. Plus they have to aim the program at the 8-12 age group. So I admit it must have been a tricky episode to write. But, AIO has done more difficult episodes before. They've always made great quality shoes. (I'm back to this metaphor) Maybe some have been more designer and some have been more Kohls-ish, but they've rarely ever made a pair of cheap flip flops. (In fact, I can't think of any off the top of my head. Maybe the one where they killed off Jason...) I'm gonna show a bit of grace to Focus. Sometimes, you have to have a pair of cheap flip flops. They may not be pretty or even comfortable but they are useful for protecting your feet when you go down to the beach. "Something Old, Something Blue" served the purpose of making sure that Connie and Mitch aren't getting back together. That's all it did. But I'm sure that when fall rolls around, AIO will be back to it's normal standards of shoe making. Keep listening.


EDIT: In the radio version of part 2, it ends with the scene between Whit and Connie. In the album version, it ends with Connie coming home and finding some yellow tulips from Mitch. 

You know, I was fine during the whole radio broadcast. But after listening to that album version end scene, it just pains the Connie/Mitch shipper in me. *sobs* Why do the writers do this to me?